The Main Reason I am a Floridian

OK, I am a Floridian.  So what does that mean?

It means I have trouble going north of Jacksonville in the winter.  Do you know how cold it becomes up there?  If the temperature drops below 68 degrees, I am in trouble.  I am not kidding.

I spent some Christmas seasons in Alabama and was amazed at how far the mercury in thermometers would drop.  Water outside, in puddles or trapped in containers, would actually freeze.  I determined a long time ago, this was not good.  I could see no point in living in a place where you must routinely wear jackets.

There is just something wrong with that.

Friends who have lived or still live up north tell me, “You just dress for the cold.”  Is that like saying the cold is going to be a guest and drop in, requiring you to formally dress appropriately to greet him or her?  It is my opinion you cannot “dress for the cold.”  They do not have enough outer garments in all of the United States to properly protect one from cold.

One of my friends from up north said, “You can layer on clothes to protect from the cold, but in the summer heat down here, there is only so much you can take off.”  He was right.  You can take only so much off – all of it.  And then you go jump in the water.  There are plenty of beaches, lakes, rivers, and springs that can help you with the heat and humidity.

For me, dealing with high heat and debilitating humidity is far easier than freezing to death.  Dying by heat is far better than freezing to death.  In the heat, you just laze around until you are gone.  In the cold, however, your whole body is shivering and shaking, your nose is runny, your eyelids may freeze shut, and your teeth chatter like there is no tomorrow – which might be the case.

I have said it before and will say it again, without remorse – I am a wimp when it comes to the cold.  It is the way I was brought into this world; it is the way I am going out.  Warm.


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